Banker Beaverbreek

Damon Runyon

Banker Beaverbrook was very rich. He was president of the Cattle Growers’ Bank.

He was head of most of our public utilities.

He was about sixty-two years old, and good-looking, except for a big wen on his forehead.

Banker Beaverbrook had a wife, who hated him, and three daughters and two sons, all grown.

They did not care much about him either, because Banker Beaverbrook was a man of simple tastes, who liked quiet, while his wife and children were very social, and always on the go.

They loved to make a big show of themselves.

Banker Beaverbrook had been a laborer in his youth, and he had worked hard all his life. His wife, who hated him, had been the daughter of one of our first families, and she never got over thinking she was much better than Banker Beaverbrook. She was a very haughty old gal.

Banker Beaverbrook’s sons and daughters were haughty, too.

So when Banker Beaverbrook wanted a little peace and quiet he used to go to the modest cottage of Miss Mary Simkins, at the foot of Rambold Street, which is not a very select neighborhood.

Miss Mary Simkins was a milliner.

Banker Beaverbrook had met her when she was 23, and very nice-looking, and he had been going to her cottage for peace and quiet for twenty years. Many people in Our Town knew this, but they thought perhaps Banker Beaverbrook went there because Miss Mary Simkins could cook baked beans very nicely.

Banker Beaverbrook loved baked beans.

He could not get them in his own home.

Miss Mary Simkins never married, though for a while she had many chances, because she knew Banker Beaverbrook would not enjoy a husband around her cottage. She was very fond of Banker Beaverbrook and read books to him, and rubbed his forehead with her hand when he had a headache.

One morning, Banker Beaverbrook was found dead in his bed at home. His will read:

I leave all to my beloved wife.

Miss Mary Simkins was evicted from her cottage by the administrators of Banker Beaverbrook’s estate a short time after his death, because she did not have money enough to pay the rent.