Ethel’s Pops Knocks the Government
Brooklyn,
October 3.
DEAR SIR the other night my wife Ethel ses to me Joe if you had a friend who had always stuck to you through thick and thin and who would be willing to fight and die for you would you trust him for a few miserable little old dollars?
I ses now wait a minute Ethel. I ses that question sounds like there is some catch to it. I ses you tell me what you are driving at before you go any farther. I ses I do not want to answer any questions before I know what they are about.
Ethel ses well would you? I ses would I what? She ses would you trust a friend who had always stuck to you through thick and thin and who would be willing to fight and die for you for a few miserable little old dollars? Why Joe that is a simple question and you can answer it yes or no.
I ses Ethel I do not know anybody who is willing to fight and die for me so how can I answer that question? She ses well you can give me some idea. I ses well all right then I guess I would trust them for a few dollars. I ses does that answer satisfy you?
She ses if somebody had worked for you a long long long time and given you money when they had it to keep you going would you give them a little credit when they got in a bad fix? I ses why I guess I would and Ethel ses then my Pops is right. The Government is a mean thing although my Pops ses something else about it too. Do you want to hear what my Pops ses about the Government Joe?
I ses no Ethel I can get along without that. I ses if your Pops was talking about the Government I can imagine what he ses. I ses what has got him going now? Ethel ses it is about his friend Carrigans house. You know his friend Carrigan who lives in Bayside Joe? I ses you mean the fellow your Pops is always arguing with? Ethel ses yes that is the one. Well the Government is going to take his house away from him.
I ses what for? Ethel ses because he borrowed a few miserable little old dollars off the Government quite awhile ago when times was very bad with him and he has not been able to pay it back. So the Government is going to take his house away from him. It is a cute little house Joe and my Pops is all upset about it. He was over here today telling me about it.
I ses well what has that got to do with all that stuff you was asking me about trusting a friend who would be willing to do for me? I ses if anybody thinks I am going to trust Carrigan for anything they are pretty much mistaken. I ses I do not know Carrigan so very well and he never was no friend of mine. I ses if anybody trusts him for anything it ought to be your Pops.
Ethel ses O it has not got anything to do with you Joe. It is the Government. My Pops ses the Government never had a better friend than Carrigan. He has stuck to it through thick and thin and would be willing to die for it if necessary and now it will not trust him for a few miserable little old dollars. My Pops ses that is the worst thing he ever heard of. Joe let me tell you just one thing my Pops ses the way he ses it about the Government.
I ses never mind Ethel. I ses a lot of people borrowed money off the Government on their houses and could not pay back and lost their houses and Ethel ses yes but my Pops ses that it is no way for the Government to do with its friends. My Pops ses Carrigans father and his grandfather too always helped the Government by paying it taxes and so did Carrigan. My Pops ses the money Carrigan borrowed was only money that really belonged to him.
I ses well Ethel it is too bad that Carrigan is going to lose his house and I am sorry to hear it and she ses you are not half as sorry as Carrigan I guess. My Pops ses Carrigan is in a bad mood about the Government though he never before ses a word against it. My Pops ses the Government will have a hard time finding a better friend than Carrigan has been to it and it is a dirty shame it is not willing to trust him for a few little old miserable dollars a little while longer.
I ses Ethel I guess business is business with the Government as well as everybody else and you cannot blame it much and she ses well you bet my Pops blames it much. My Pops ses what kind of a Government is it that helps a friend out of a hole one day and the next day turns around and shoves him back in the hole again? Joe I think some of the things my Pops ses about the Government are very interesting.
I ses well they do not interest me. I ses your Pops is always knocking the Government and Ethel ses yes but let me tell you something Joe Turp. Who do you suppose ses my Pops has the right idea in always knocking the Government? I ses I suppose Carrigan and Ethel ses why thats right Joe. How did you guess?
JOE TURP.